Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
