Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
