I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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