omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
