I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
and you fell through a lawn chair
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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