i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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