Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I will be naked everywhere
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
