i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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