why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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