I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize