real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Randomize
