I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
