Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
