She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
