Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
