so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize