The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
