so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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