Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
It's not a walk of shame if you run
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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