Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
