Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
