It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
