the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
