He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
