You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
