Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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