STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
