I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
