She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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