He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
