and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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