do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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