I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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