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did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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