His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
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That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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