He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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