Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
