im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
