I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
