This girl is more easily done than said...
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
my nose is crying tears of wow.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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