seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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