Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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