What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
