He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
