Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
