I hate all girls vehemently.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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