I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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