have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
