I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Randomize
