I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
We had to coat check the pizza.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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