hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
