Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
