I'm laying in your front yard are you home
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
high people should be assigned attendants
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
