Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
