Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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