Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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