Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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